Where have I gone? Where can I go?

In this age of super seeding advancing technology, one can't help but wonder, 'Where does it all go from here?'

I, myself, am an incredible example of a lost person. It's been 5 years since the question 'Where does it all go from here?' has been afloat in my mind. Back then, it was simple, I could just keep swimming, writing as a leisurely hobby and take photographs whenever I felt like it. I've never felt so confused.

As of now, I'm 16 years old. An unsuccessful Youtube animator due to my limited internet access while living constraint in a Melbourne Girls' School Boarding House. An unsuccessful writer who holds no dedication in completing any piece of work. An unsuccessful photographer who doesn't actually go around seeking shots but waiting till the rare moments of photographic hype overwhelms me. An unsuccessful artist who has yet to even draw a single satisfactory picture using my new Bamboo Narcissus :3 .

yet I still have not acquired even a glimpse of what I want or even desire to be. The future is a vague ball of unforeseen events. They say the time you would realize 'your future' comes ever so briefly; and when it does, it slams into you like a truck speeding straight into you. Mind the pain of course.

It gets a whole lot more unnerving when you watch the people around you, comfortable, all goal-ed up, with incredible part time jobs. Where have the years lapsed around me?

It's been about 2 days since my dad bought me a Bamboo Pen & Touch tablet.

Not that my future will be the creative arts but hey, you never know what could come. Nevertheless, looking at my brand new tablet, keeps me smiling. Blogspot isn't allowing me to load any of my pictures of it so I guess you lot have to wait a bit longer before I manage to post an image of it (name: Bamboo Narcissus :3 ).

I might have thought that my dad had bought it on a whim, right there, in front of the salesman due to my tablet's price having been reduced to RM 360 (SALE price) but later into the night, he had told me, that the look on my face held such conflicting desires that he couldn't help but buy it. 

I'm not too sure what made me so reluctant to immediately accept the discounted offer. 

It could have been guilt. My Final Semester examination results haven't exactly been pleasing to me. No, it's not one of those Asian Fails but rather Asian Catastrophes where an I.B. 5 is unacceptable. 

This is from the view of a person who has turned rather lenient after living life in Lebanon (the partying capital of the Middle East). Even so, I have my tablet right here beside me. 

Looking at it reminds me of the limitless opportunities I have. They say that people who have nothing to lose, are the biggest risk takers, thereby, the most successful and lose the least in comparison to their wealthy counter parts. I believe I have plenty to lose but with what I've lost already, taking the risk now, wouldn't make so much more of a difference. My family will always love me and for their sake, and my own, I've got to work my best- the most efficiently. I can no longer face myself if I don't change my ways so everyone, I think I might start up a new blog for a new leaf. A new breeze. A new phase. A continuation of an evolving life. :) 

I hope actual readers come to follow me when the time comes. 

Until that,

A Bientot.