我的朋友叫"忧郁"。
I thought I escaped the melancholy along time ago.
Where I would no longer feel like I was not worth the time put into me.
Where there was no clear purpose of reason my eyes would open each day.
I think living by oneself breeds this negativity.
Akin to a beginner's chinese passage I have started to use entitled "兔子美 " to kickstart my progress in learning chinese, "我觉得自己太丑了。"
I have lived apart from family for seven years. No family members or family friends' in near proximity. I have never been very good at truly opening myself up to others; and the lengthened time with myself only serves to let myself breed on my own insecurities. My diary is my only refuge, where once my thoughts flow onto written paper, my heart is freed from an intangible burden weighed upon it.
I am not at all saying that the friends' I have made here are not significant, it's just that I find that there is a depth to a relationship with family that is substantially different from being with friends.
I feel alone despite being surrounded by many. My friends' all have their own lives and their own concerns to be worried about to preoccupy their time. They do not need my issues on top of that.
As I sit here drafting this post in my Evidence Law class, our teacher just informed us that, "The class test results on the overall was bad. The exam is harder, if not worse than the class test." The whole class exclaims in united despair. "We are doomed," are the words I mutter to this somewhat disappointing yet motivating news.
In despair, there is hope. I can do better. I will do better.
I know that this melancholic period is temporary and shall pass.
But for now, I will acknowledge and welcome this 'friend' that has returned.
And once again, like friends are, it shall drift away and return when it does.
Truthfully, I wish it would go away for good.
Signed,
Evelyn W.
Next post: "Dawn of Lost Promises"
I sought refuge in the scripts of others. The words of characters made to exist, but words not kept.
Where I would no longer feel like I was not worth the time put into me.
Where there was no clear purpose of reason my eyes would open each day.
I think living by oneself breeds this negativity.
Akin to a beginner's chinese passage I have started to use entitled "兔子美 " to kickstart my progress in learning chinese, "我觉得自己太丑了。"
I have lived apart from family for seven years. No family members or family friends' in near proximity. I have never been very good at truly opening myself up to others; and the lengthened time with myself only serves to let myself breed on my own insecurities. My diary is my only refuge, where once my thoughts flow onto written paper, my heart is freed from an intangible burden weighed upon it.
I am not at all saying that the friends' I have made here are not significant, it's just that I find that there is a depth to a relationship with family that is substantially different from being with friends.
I feel alone despite being surrounded by many. My friends' all have their own lives and their own concerns to be worried about to preoccupy their time. They do not need my issues on top of that.
As I sit here drafting this post in my Evidence Law class, our teacher just informed us that, "The class test results on the overall was bad. The exam is harder, if not worse than the class test." The whole class exclaims in united despair. "We are doomed," are the words I mutter to this somewhat disappointing yet motivating news.
In despair, there is hope. I can do better. I will do better.
I know that this melancholic period is temporary and shall pass.
But for now, I will acknowledge and welcome this 'friend' that has returned.
And once again, like friends are, it shall drift away and return when it does.
Truthfully, I wish it would go away for good.
Signed,
Evelyn W.
Next post: "Dawn of Lost Promises"
I sought refuge in the scripts of others. The words of characters made to exist, but words not kept.
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