Interviews

I apologies for my misgivings, misapprehensions, nervousness and my lack of clarity.
Most of the time, I do not think I make any sense in an interview.
After years of being in university and being involved here and there in the workforce as an intern, I thought I would be more ready for things like interviews. Any interview for that matter.
But I am silly. I really am. I feel like I am quite unable to learn as much as I should from those, and end up just bumbling my way through everything by sheer luck.
The outcome? An Evelyn left with a weird self-confidence gap.

I know I work hard. I know I try hard. But for some reason, I still feel like I never reach my amassed goal. Why is that?

It is strange how in an interview, most people manage to fool themselves into pretending they know everything. I just have no capacity to do that. I feel like I'm the sort of person that will only be able to show my true skills in persistence, determination, inquiry and open-mindedness only after I somehow get my foot through the door. Getting my foot wedged in the door is the main hurdle of contention that I am never confident I can achieve.

I am only human. I have aplenty of concerns and I am scared of loss. I would be amazed if I met a single person who did not want to succeed in what they did. Everyone does, even if they choose to deny it to the mass public, most likely due to self-reservation.

Anyhow, I guess the solution is that I try hard; but I don't try smart.